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  • Writer's pictureVictoria Olaniyan

Break the Silence: End Domestic Violence

Updated: Aug 11, 2023

You Are Not Alone

Domestic abuse is a deeply concerning issue that transcends boundaries. It affects individuals from all walks of life, irrespective of age, gender, race, or social standing. The time has come to shatter the silence surrounding this critical topic and shed light on the diverse forms of domestic abuse that exist within our societies. By joining hands, we can forge a path towards safety, healing, and a future free from abuse.


Understanding Domestic Violence


Domestic violence is more than physical abuse; it's a complex web of control, manipulation, and fear. The following are some of the various forms of domestic violence that need our attention:


Physical Abuse

Physical abuse is the most visible form of domestic violence, involving the use of force that results in bodily harm or injury. This includes hitting, slapping, punching, kicking, and any other act that inflicts pain or suffering.


Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is a silent weapon that chips away at a person's self-esteem and mental well-being. Tactics such as name-calling, humiliation, constant criticism, and threats cause long-lasting emotional scars.


Verbal Abuse

Verbal abuse involves using words to belittle, degrade, and control the victim. It can include insults, yelling, humiliation, blaming, and name-calling. If your partner constantly criticises you, ridicules your opinions, or uses hurtful language, you might be experiencing verbal abuse.


Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse violates a person's autonomy and consent. It encompasses any non-consensual sexual activity, such as rape, forced pornography, and coerced acts that degrade and demean.


Financial Abuse

Financial abuse is a stealthy tactic used to trap victims by controlling their economic resources. Perpetrators may withhold money, restrict access to finances, sabotage employment, or force financial dependence.


Psychological Abuse

Psychological abuse leaves invisible wounds, involving manipulation, gaslighting, and mind games that erode a person's sense of reality and self-worth.


Digital Abuse

Digital abuse is a form of control using technology. It includes monitoring your online activities without consent, sending threatening or harassing messages, and spreading false information about you online. If your partner excessively checks your messages, demands your passwords, or uses technology to manipulate or harm you, it's a sign of digital abuse.


Recognizing You are in an Abusive Relationship


  • Isolation: If your partner isolates you from friends, family, and social activities, making you feel dependent on them

  • Controlling Behaviour: Constantly monitoring your whereabouts, demanding to know your every move, and controlling what you do.

  • Jealousy and Possessiveness: If your partner becomes excessively jealous, accuses you of infidelity without cause, or isolates you from others.

  • Threats and Intimidation: Making threats of physical harm, destroying property, or using intimidating gestures to control you.

  • Physical Violence: Any form of physical harm, including hitting, slapping, pushing, or any action that causes injury.

  • Manipulation and Gaslighting: Making you doubt your reality, emotions, or sanity, causing you to question your own perceptions.

  • Economic Abuse: Controlling your finances, limiting your access to money, or preventing you from working.

  • Unpredictable Mood Swings: Frequent emotional outbursts or mood swings that leave you feeling anxious or walking on eggshells.

  • Forced Intimacy: Engaging in sexual acts without your consent or using sex as a means of control.

  • Minimisation of Abuse: Your partner downplays or dismisses their abusive behaviour, making you doubt the severity of the situation.


Steps to Take

  • Trust Your Instincts: If something feels off, it probably is. Pay attention to your feelings and concerns.

  • Reach Out for Support: Confide in a trusted friend, family member, or counsellor about your situation.

  • Document the Abuse: Keep records of abusive incidents, messages, and injuries as evidence.

  • Develop a Safety Plan: Identify a safe place to go and people to contact if you need to leave quickly.

  • Contact Professionals: Seek help from domestic abuse hotlines, shelters, therapists, or legal services.

  • Know Your Rights: Familiarise yourself with local laws and resources related to domestic abuse.

  • Create Independence: Work toward financial and emotional independence to empower yourself.


Break the Cycle, Seek Help

Remember, you are never alone and there is help available:

  • Emergency Services: If you are in immediate danger, call 999.

  • National Domestic Abuse Helpline (England): Speak confidentially to a trained advocate at 0808 2000 247.

  • Scottish Women's Aid: Call 0800 027 1234 for support in Scotland.

  • Women's Aid Federation of Northern Ireland: Call 0800 917 1414 for support in Northern Ireland.

  • Welsh Women's Aid: Call 0808 80 10 800 for support in Wales.


Together, we can end domestic violence and shape a world where safety, respect, and empowerment prevail.


Remember, you deserve to be in a healthy and respectful relationship. If you believe you are experiencing abuse, it's important to prioritise your safety and well-being.


Meet the writer of this article, Victoria Olaniyan our family solicitor for all your family law needs. Victoria stands ready to provide invaluable legal support. Reach out to us today to arrange a consultation and embark on your journey toward resolution. Contact Victoria.

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